My name is Magued and I grew up in a Christian family. When I was three my mother was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. This illness progressed until she was paralysed and blind. From when I was small I learned how to help her together with my dad, my brother and my sister. I dreamed that my mum would get well again, and be like my friends’ mothers, but as time passed I realised that this was not to be.
My siblings and I learned to accept this will of God, to believe that everything contributes to good for those who love God. And we became very united amongst us and were aware of a grace that helped us always.
Six years ago we found out that my sister had a tumour. It was then that I went into crisis with God and could not accept that my sister was ill, so I asked God if I could take her place because I could have dealt with it better. As time passed I accepted my sister’s illness, that despite the treatment, was not getting better.
Four years ago my mother died and at that time I felt a great suffering and emptiness in my life. It was as though part of my heart had been detached and gone with her.
Then two years ago, while having a check up about an eye problem, I found out that I had my mother’s same illness. I had just finished university and thought I had a future in front of me… All of a sudden everything vanished. I was in anguish thinking that one day I would wake up paralysed or I would have lost my sight as she did. I felt it was the devil who tempted me to start doing everything immediately, even bad things, which later I would not be able to do.
These temptations stopped when I understood that what made me happy was to live each day as if it were my last, in a deep relationship with God.
Then I started a new job, and I met a girl, an angel, who was ready to carry with me all the difficulties that I might meet in future. Many of my friends say that they pray for me so that I may be cured, but I answer that I pray for them, so that each one of us is ill in some way.
One evening a few months ago my sister phoned me when I was out with my friends, and asked me to come back because she did not feel well. I went home and sat beside her and we began to pray together. We were not used to doing this but it was as though a voice said to me: “pray with her Magued.” A little while later she felt worse, she leant her head on me and passed away.
In recent months every now and then I had a relapse. I was not able to hold a pen, or I lost the feeling in an arm, and for a while I could not see properly which made the situation at work difficult. When these things happen I remember my mother and my sister, who despite their pain, they had eyes filled with joy and peace. It is as if they were saying to me: don’t be afraid, continue believing in the Love of God and witness it with your life.
M.G. Egitto
Source: focolare.org
