The Music of Your Name

Our names are important to us. When we speak to others, we should be conscientious about how we use them.

I once watched a television interview where I heard the speaker mention his name over and over again. He was unaware of what he was doing. It had become a habit of his that betrayed his inner feelings of inflated self importance. How happy he became when he heard others mention his name. When that did not happen, he mentioned it himself to satisfy his own ears. 

Of course, it has a negative impact on everyone else. 

The first-person pronoun has a compelling sweetness, not simply because of the ego, but because it is a reality. 

- “Zaid is not what matters. What matters is achieving the result.” 

- “Leave Zaid out of it.” 

- “Zaid would never have achieved this if it wasn’t for their support.” 

- “Zaid comes and goes. What matters is the general welfare.” 

We love our names. We love hearing them mentioned. We love seeing our names in print. Your own name has a very special ring to it, especially when it is uttered by people who matter to you or when it is connected with praise. 

My son asked me: “What was your pet name when you were a child?” 

I replied: “In my time they did not have pet names for their children. Still, I had a very affectionate family.” 

When you write someone a letter, try mentioning in it the name of the person you are addressing. Likewise, mention their name when you are speaking to them. You will see that it has a positive effect. 

Address the other person with the name they like to be addressed by and connect it with words expressing your respect and positive feelings like, “My dear friend”, My beloved brother”, and “My esteemed teacher”. 

I still remember a letter I received from a friend way back when I was in the second year of Middle School. It began: “To my best friend, Salman.” 

Prophet Muhammad never taught us to seek refuge with Allah from ourselves, but only from the evil within ourselves. He supplicated: “We seek refuge with Allah from the evil within ourselves.” and: “I seek refuge with Allah from the evil within myself.” 

Therefore, when addressing people, address them by their names and do so in a positive way. This shows that you respect them and that they are important to you. Whatever, you do, do not fixate upon yourself when you are speaking to them. That will have the opposite effect.

Sheikh Salman al-Oadah

Source: en.islamtoday.net (Nov. 2, 2014)